Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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