He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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