good thing vaginas are great cup holders
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
