Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
