my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
