At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
