I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Randomize
