Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
