True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize