Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
