I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize