he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
She needs sedatives and a leash
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
