He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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