Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
