I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
it glows. i had to have it.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
