How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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