I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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