Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
