you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I am one with the molecules
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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