dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize