he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Randomize
