I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
so much tequila, so little girl.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize