I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Randomize
