I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
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