when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
