She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Randomize
