I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I have post one night stand depression
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
