About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
