He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
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