That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Randomize
