I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
