At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
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