chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
