you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
