He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Randomize
