He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
she was so not down for the gang bang
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
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