are you still at the devil's house?
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
Acid is not a monday night drug
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize