Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
