Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
it was like his penis was on wheels.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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