whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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