Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
He passed out mid-signature
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
