just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
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