Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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