i don't like sucking hair
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Your dad touched me again.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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