pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
