If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize