everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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