i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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