are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize