I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
