That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
