may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
