There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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