I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Randomize
