piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
