he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
