Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
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