I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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