erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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