Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
